He's a Simple Man

Zuma understands the basic philosophy of getting along. He is simply trying to be all things to all people. And it's all so simple!

To the poor, he is a simple man. He knows that they appreciate that.
To wheeler-dealers, he is a simple man. And do they appreciate that!

To the medical profession, he is a simple, soap-and-water kind of a guy. No flies on him (even when there should be and it should be closed).

To the business community, he is a simple man. No bulls or bears. He just gets your goat.

And why are we so surprised that he'll talk about the death penalty? It's all so easy. Just leave the criminals on the streets where they are now. After all, these are the streets of South Africa. They're likely to die anyway. It's not as if they're safely behind bars....

He's a well-read man. He knows that when Simon Says, everybody does. Simon is simple. Just be simple and say. And say and say. No problem.

Why be complicated? That's a legacy of Apartheid. Just keep it simple. Relax. Be happy. Let the ANC panic. You just chill. Take a cold shower if you have to - it can work miracles.

Oh, and smile a lot. It perplexes the shit out of the journalists.