Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Don't Swear If You Want Breakfast
Do you remember the time when your kids were at the age when they felt they were old enough to start swearing? They'd sit with you and, very seriously, explore their list of unacceptable vocabulary to establish which words were acceptable at their advanced age?
Well, here's a cute story from the internet:
A seven year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, sh!t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do you want for breakfast, young man?!"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your f#-king life it won't be Coco Pops".
Well, here's a cute story from the internet:
A seven year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, sh!t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do you want for breakfast, young man?!"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your f#-king life it won't be Coco Pops".
Saturday, 22 September 2007
The Return of the Lotto
Reports indicate that the long-awaited return of the Lotto could take place within about two weeks - which probably means about four weeks. Apparently it has been awarded to Gidani, but as yet I have been unable to find an active website for them. As soon as I find one, I'll create the link on this site.
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
Ouch!
I hear that the Government wants an investigation 'to establish how far the faulty condoms have penetrated the market...'
Ouch.
Ouch.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Stating The Obvious
Mail and Guardian published an article entitled: 'Caution: Water on road during rain', about concerned campaigners for the English language, who object to signs and warnings stating the obvious.
They cite examples like 'Caution: water on road during rain'; warnings on packets of nuts stating: 'Warning: contains nuts'; a warning on a can of self-defence pepper spray: 'May irritate eyes' and, on sleeping pills, 'May cause drowsiness'.
They are quoted as stating: "They assume a lack of intelligence on the part of the reader. 'Do not commit crime. Pay for your fuel' is hardly a deterrent to a criminal who has every intention of driving off without paying."
True.
However, off the top of my head, I can think of two reasons necessitating those warnings. One is the great American pastime of making a few million bucks by suing large companies for NOT warning us of the obvious. The second is - well, visit South Africa, where there don't seem to be enough of those warnings!
Ever visit a public toilet, where, if the signs are not there, they should be ?
"Aim for the urinal, not the floor. Use both hands to take aim " (The sign I have seen is much too subtle for here: "We aim to please, you aim too, please.")
"Please remain seated throughout the entire performance."
"Wash your hands - afterwards! Remember to turn off the tap when you've finished."
Other signs that should exist:
On boxes of ammunition:
"Warning: Bullets can be a health hazard, especially when fired from a gun. Directions for use: Place bullets in clip / magazine. Replace magazine into pistol. Load first bullet into breach. Turn barrel towards you until you can see down the barrel. Keep looking. Gently squeeze trigger."
On the road:
"A lubricated car is good. A lubricated driver is bad."
"Do not look at the person you are talking to while you're driving."
"When you are (illegally) talking on your cell phone while driving, do not attempt to give directions with the other hand."
"Before using your shifting spanner to loosen a nut or other item, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, switch off the ignition and disengage spanner from the steering column. Remember to re-connect to the steering column before continuing your journey."
"When your soccer ball goes into the road, look right, look left, look right again - then report the thief who took it while you were exercising these precautions."
"Beware - Cattle Crossing. Watch quietly and do not disturb." (Heard of Cross-Bred cattle? Now you know)
Pills:
"Directions: To be swallowed, using water - not beer, vodka, brandy, whiskey, wine, Brutal Fruit or any other alcoholic beverage. Do not crush and sniff. Do not smoke, either in tobacco, bottle mouths, water pipes or in any other way. To not liquidize and inject. JUST SWALLOW WITH WATER. Warning: water can be a health hazard. Ensure that water is clean. If not, boil water first. Remember to let the water cool before drinking. (See instructions for burnt tongue, if applicable)"
"If you do not understand any of these signs or notices, ask a policeman. If he rubs his head before explaining, ask a different one."
They cite examples like 'Caution: water on road during rain'; warnings on packets of nuts stating: 'Warning: contains nuts'; a warning on a can of self-defence pepper spray: 'May irritate eyes' and, on sleeping pills, 'May cause drowsiness'.
They are quoted as stating: "They assume a lack of intelligence on the part of the reader. 'Do not commit crime. Pay for your fuel' is hardly a deterrent to a criminal who has every intention of driving off without paying."
True.
However, off the top of my head, I can think of two reasons necessitating those warnings. One is the great American pastime of making a few million bucks by suing large companies for NOT warning us of the obvious. The second is - well, visit South Africa, where there don't seem to be enough of those warnings!
Ever visit a public toilet, where, if the signs are not there, they should be ?
"Aim for the urinal, not the floor. Use both hands to take aim " (The sign I have seen is much too subtle for here: "We aim to please, you aim too, please.")
"Please remain seated throughout the entire performance."
"Wash your hands - afterwards! Remember to turn off the tap when you've finished."
Other signs that should exist:
On boxes of ammunition:
"Warning: Bullets can be a health hazard, especially when fired from a gun. Directions for use: Place bullets in clip / magazine. Replace magazine into pistol. Load first bullet into breach. Turn barrel towards you until you can see down the barrel. Keep looking. Gently squeeze trigger."
On the road:
"A lubricated car is good. A lubricated driver is bad."
"Do not look at the person you are talking to while you're driving."
"When you are (illegally) talking on your cell phone while driving, do not attempt to give directions with the other hand."
"Before using your shifting spanner to loosen a nut or other item, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, switch off the ignition and disengage spanner from the steering column. Remember to re-connect to the steering column before continuing your journey."
"When your soccer ball goes into the road, look right, look left, look right again - then report the thief who took it while you were exercising these precautions."
"Beware - Cattle Crossing. Watch quietly and do not disturb." (Heard of Cross-Bred cattle? Now you know)
Pills:
"Directions: To be swallowed, using water - not beer, vodka, brandy, whiskey, wine, Brutal Fruit or any other alcoholic beverage. Do not crush and sniff. Do not smoke, either in tobacco, bottle mouths, water pipes or in any other way. To not liquidize and inject. JUST SWALLOW WITH WATER. Warning: water can be a health hazard. Ensure that water is clean. If not, boil water first. Remember to let the water cool before drinking. (See instructions for burnt tongue, if applicable)"
"If you do not understand any of these signs or notices, ask a policeman. If he rubs his head before explaining, ask a different one."
Friday, 14 September 2007
ANC is PND
Once the "African National Congress", presently the "African National Circus", it's time to admit that it has become the "Post Nelson Debacle".
It's hardly fair to call it a "circus", because although it's resplendent with convincing clowns, a circus is a professional, well-organized operation, generally safe for the public.
It's not enough that the PND populates too many ministerial posts on the Jobs-For-Old-Comrades system, irrespective of their honesty or ability to function in those posts, but the system of floor-crossings makes a mockery of democracy. We, the electorate, haven't a clue, when we vote, to which Party our representative will ultimately belong. It promotes the cause of the professional politician rather than representatives of the people.
Service Delivery is pure fantasy. (Probably one of the few "purities" in government!) I find it sad that so many of our people who suffer the most from the lack of service delivery and the corruption involved in the process, still vote in terms of historic loyalties instead of opting for performance-based results. In their defense, who could they vote for? (To the best of my knowledge, Leon Schuster hasn't taken up the challenge of starting his own party yet....)
IF ONLY the people of Trevor Manuel's calibre would break away and form their own party, we'd all have someone to vote for on the basis of performance.
The ANC reminds me somewhat of Bafana Bafana. They made a big splash when the new democracy was born, then failed to deliver from then on. They have their moments, but perhaps both of them are more concerned about personal careers and personal enrichment than in the cause of the team and their supporters.
It's hardly fair to call it a "circus", because although it's resplendent with convincing clowns, a circus is a professional, well-organized operation, generally safe for the public.
It's not enough that the PND populates too many ministerial posts on the Jobs-For-Old-Comrades system, irrespective of their honesty or ability to function in those posts, but the system of floor-crossings makes a mockery of democracy. We, the electorate, haven't a clue, when we vote, to which Party our representative will ultimately belong. It promotes the cause of the professional politician rather than representatives of the people.
Service Delivery is pure fantasy. (Probably one of the few "purities" in government!) I find it sad that so many of our people who suffer the most from the lack of service delivery and the corruption involved in the process, still vote in terms of historic loyalties instead of opting for performance-based results. In their defense, who could they vote for? (To the best of my knowledge, Leon Schuster hasn't taken up the challenge of starting his own party yet....)
IF ONLY the people of Trevor Manuel's calibre would break away and form their own party, we'd all have someone to vote for on the basis of performance.
The ANC reminds me somewhat of Bafana Bafana. They made a big splash when the new democracy was born, then failed to deliver from then on. They have their moments, but perhaps both of them are more concerned about personal careers and personal enrichment than in the cause of the team and their supporters.
Thursday, 13 September 2007
Rosh HaShana
I wish all our Jewish readers a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
The Feast of Trumpets symbolizes the blowing of the trumpet, heralding the advent of the coming of the Messiah. As a Christian, I would like to join our Jewish friends spiritually, today, in the hope and anticipation of that great Day.
I wish you well.
The Feast of Trumpets symbolizes the blowing of the trumpet, heralding the advent of the coming of the Messiah. As a Christian, I would like to join our Jewish friends spiritually, today, in the hope and anticipation of that great Day.
I wish you well.
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
South Africa - The Good News
Ever get tired of bad news about the country on public broadcasts and cynical comments on blog sites? Do you wish you could just read some good news for a change? Well, try a site called www.sagoodnews.co.za
S.A Good News focuses on the positive. They focus on what they consider to be positive achievements and on things people actually do to make a positive difference instead of just griping.
Not that we can afford to bury our heads in the sand, of course. That would be highly dangerous here. (With your head in the sand, you're likely to get your pockets picked. Not to mention leaving your backside exposed. Bad idea here. And you wouldn't be able to identify your assailant - not that I'm convinced it would make too much difference if you could.)
Being aware of the problems is necessary. In fact, it's vital. Social comment is vital and constructive. A sense of humour in this country is necessary. Moaning doesn't change a thing, except to create a web of negativity. In order to escape the negative environment that only breeds more negativity, one needs to push oneself into a positive attitude. Perhaps we should take more notice of those forums and people who do their bit to promote a positive environment and identify with them.
Frankly, I find it difficult.
I still think that Leon Schuster should get a political party established - fast. Pity he wasn't in place already to reap the benefits of the current floor-crossing!
S.A Good News focuses on the positive. They focus on what they consider to be positive achievements and on things people actually do to make a positive difference instead of just griping.
Not that we can afford to bury our heads in the sand, of course. That would be highly dangerous here. (With your head in the sand, you're likely to get your pockets picked. Not to mention leaving your backside exposed. Bad idea here. And you wouldn't be able to identify your assailant - not that I'm convinced it would make too much difference if you could.)
Being aware of the problems is necessary. In fact, it's vital. Social comment is vital and constructive. A sense of humour in this country is necessary. Moaning doesn't change a thing, except to create a web of negativity. In order to escape the negative environment that only breeds more negativity, one needs to push oneself into a positive attitude. Perhaps we should take more notice of those forums and people who do their bit to promote a positive environment and identify with them.
Frankly, I find it difficult.
I still think that Leon Schuster should get a political party established - fast. Pity he wasn't in place already to reap the benefits of the current floor-crossing!
Saturday, 8 September 2007
Friday, 7 September 2007
Wild Waters
I'm no fan of the ANC, but sometimes the DA gives me the impression of being a bunch of spoilt brats. DA MP Mike Waters was, in my humble opinion, out of order in Parliament. Nothing wrong with wanting answers to the subject, but he could have followed accepted protocol instead of behaving like a child - "I want it and I want it NOW! I don't CARE what you think!"
And they all sulk and walk out when he's reprimanded.
I really find it very difficult to take the DA seriously, which is a great pity, because, as I said, I'm no ANC supporter. Who the hell do I vote for?
I figure it's about time that Leon Schuster started a political party. He's the one person I can think of that people of all colours and backgrounds could unite behind. Come on, Leon, we're waiting for you.
And they all sulk and walk out when he's reprimanded.
I really find it very difficult to take the DA seriously, which is a great pity, because, as I said, I'm no ANC supporter. Who the hell do I vote for?
I figure it's about time that Leon Schuster started a political party. He's the one person I can think of that people of all colours and backgrounds could unite behind. Come on, Leon, we're waiting for you.
Thursday, 6 September 2007
Jozi Kids Events Calender for September
www.jozikids.co.za presents an events calender for September.
You live in Johannesburg or somewhere in Gauteng and you're looking for ideas of things to do with kids.
Take a look and visit the site for more information. Click on the calender day that interests you and the list with details will appear.
The Car and Bike Show on Sunday Sept 9th
at the Trade Route Mall in Lenasia "Wheels on the Move", an all-about-cars and bike show for car lovers. Bike stunt shows on Saturday 12.30pm and 3.30pm and VW Driving Academy demonstrate art of advanced driving. International Auto Sound Challenge Association host sound show. Competitions and prizes. Jumping Castle for kids.
Entrance is Free.
Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve guided walk in Mondeor, Johannesburg Sept 9th and 23rd
You can spot zebra, springbok, black wildebeest, blesbok, or red hartebeest while walking. 2nd and 4th Sunday of every month. You can also go horse riding in the reserve or ride on a wagon pulled by 4 donkeys - great for young children, disabled or elderly. Riding trips by arrangement only: Greg 082 645 0248.
Mulbry Childrens Gardening Club Sept 15th
Let Mulbry the Garden Bear teach your children the magic of gardening and environmental awareness on the 3rd Saturday of every month at Lifestyle Garden Centre in Randpark Ridge.
Heritage Month at Maropeng Sept 15th
Maropeng brings heritage alive for the younger generation. A fun-filled family day begins with tour at Maropeng Visitor Centre: 10-min boat ride along underground man-made lake and interactive zone to enlighten young and old. Tour concludes at creative area where children make their own rock art. All materials provided. Then tuck into lunch of boerewors rolls, chicken kebabs and mini burgers, followed by cupcakes and milkshakes.
Jozikids is also now filled with tons of Special Offer Vouchers, from a free cappuccino to great discounts on Jumping Castles, Party services, photographs extra mural classes and more..check it out.
For more details Go to www.jozikids.co.za
Click on a calender day and a list of events will emerge.
If its too long , go to JUMP TO at the top of the page and select a category that interests you.
Enjoy
You live in Johannesburg or somewhere in Gauteng and you're looking for ideas of things to do with kids.
Take a look and visit the site for more information. Click on the calender day that interests you and the list with details will appear.
The Car and Bike Show on Sunday Sept 9th
at the Trade Route Mall in Lenasia "Wheels on the Move", an all-about-cars and bike show for car lovers. Bike stunt shows on Saturday 12.30pm and 3.30pm and VW Driving Academy demonstrate art of advanced driving. International Auto Sound Challenge Association host sound show. Competitions and prizes. Jumping Castle for kids.
Entrance is Free.
Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve guided walk in Mondeor, Johannesburg Sept 9th and 23rd
You can spot zebra, springbok, black wildebeest, blesbok, or red hartebeest while walking. 2nd and 4th Sunday of every month. You can also go horse riding in the reserve or ride on a wagon pulled by 4 donkeys - great for young children, disabled or elderly. Riding trips by arrangement only: Greg 082 645 0248.
Mulbry Childrens Gardening Club Sept 15th
Let Mulbry the Garden Bear teach your children the magic of gardening and environmental awareness on the 3rd Saturday of every month at Lifestyle Garden Centre in Randpark Ridge.
Heritage Month at Maropeng Sept 15th
Maropeng brings heritage alive for the younger generation. A fun-filled family day begins with tour at Maropeng Visitor Centre: 10-min boat ride along underground man-made lake and interactive zone to enlighten young and old. Tour concludes at creative area where children make their own rock art. All materials provided. Then tuck into lunch of boerewors rolls, chicken kebabs and mini burgers, followed by cupcakes and milkshakes.
Jozikids is also now filled with tons of Special Offer Vouchers, from a free cappuccino to great discounts on Jumping Castles, Party services, photographs extra mural classes and more..check it out.
For more details Go to www.jozikids.co.za
Click on a calender day and a list of events will emerge.
If its too long , go to JUMP TO at the top of the page and select a category that interests you.
Enjoy
Sunday, 2 September 2007
Are Blogs Losing Their Appeal?
I have noticed that a number of blog sites that I have enjoyed visiting in the past seem to be descending into stagnation. Is the blog-hype running out of steam ?
I know, it gets increasingly difficult to keep up the daily entries - but you guys are missed!
If anyone has just started blogging, why not let us know about you on this site? If you're thinking about it starting a blog but feel intimidated, have a go. Some of the simplest ones can be the best reads. It doesn't have to be intense or filled with daily earth-shattering thoughts. A few lines a few times a week, without the pressure of prize-winning literary entries can be quite fun for you and for readers.
I know, it gets increasingly difficult to keep up the daily entries - but you guys are missed!
If anyone has just started blogging, why not let us know about you on this site? If you're thinking about it starting a blog but feel intimidated, have a go. Some of the simplest ones can be the best reads. It doesn't have to be intense or filled with daily earth-shattering thoughts. A few lines a few times a week, without the pressure of prize-winning literary entries can be quite fun for you and for readers.
Saturday, 1 September 2007
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