The Army ...

This e-mail did the rounds some time ago, but I still love it ...

LETTER FROM A FREE STATE FARM KID, NOW DOING BASIC TRAINING AS A COMMANDO

Dear Ma and Pa

I am well. Hope you are. Tell my boetie Wouter and my other boetie Koos that being in the Kommandos beats working for Oom Piet by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am now starting to enjoying sleeping late.

Tell Wouter and Koos all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No varke to feed, no cows to milk, no mampoer to mix or braai wood to split. Practically nothing. Manne get to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on fruit juice, pap, eggs, bacon, etc. but short on steaks, boerewors, chops, potatoes and other regular food like vetkoek.
But tell my boeties you can always sit between two dorpies that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route"
marches, which the Sersant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our postbox at home. Then the dorpies from the city get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice, but awful flat.

This next will kill my boeties with laughter.

I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a dassie's head and doesn't move at all. And it isn't shooting back at you like those bl*ks*mse Venter boys from the next door plaas. All you have to do is lie there all rustig like and hit it. You don't even have to make your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with the dorpies from the city. I have to be really careful though, they break real easy. It's not like fighting with Swart Duivel, our old bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this platoon except for that GrootJan Jordaan from somewhere in the Noord Transvaal. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs over 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell my boeties to hurry and join before other okes find out about this Kommando setup and come stampeding in !

Your loving daughter,
Esther