Mother's Day Blues

'But it's the THOUGHT that counts!' Bull----. The only thing that the thought counts is the cost. The last time that phrase is true is just before you enter adolescence. After that, you'd better have an offering to back up the cute picture you made yourself!

Of course, that's just from a Dad's perspective. Mother's Day is wonderful for the kids. Wonderful or traumatic, but certainly emotional for the mother. And most wonderful of all, of course, for Commerce. For the Dads, it's only a tad less frightnening than Father's Day, a month later, when you have to fork out all over again - only this time you don't have control over your credit card, because what they're buying you is a secret.

Problem is, most of us can never give a mother what she's worth - and you'd better believe that. So we start to compromise according to the budget. Then our conscience deploys a little tool called emotional blackmail and the budget goes out of the window. But Fathers tend to be unimaginative compared to the fairer gender, so after all hints have been interpreted, all decisions made and all purchases have been concluded, an innocent remark will tell you just how wrong you were and you have to dash out again, credit card bucking frantically in your hand. The mystery of Mona Lisa's smile? Look at your wife's face on Mother's Day. You'll NEVER KNOW!

Oh, well, I suppose Mom has the same torment for Father's Day. But Moms, would you like to know the secret of the perfect Father's Day gift? It's a CREDIT NOTE for what he spent on Mother's Day!! Tied with a ribbon.

No, please don't believe that. It's just not true. Because when all is said and done and the preceding trauma has passed, there's a warmth in our hearts on the day that melts the cold in our wallets. Our biggest regret about Mother's Day is that we cannot possibly give you what you deserve and what the whole family would love to give you. When the day passes, those sloppy, melting hearts in us tell us that we'll know EXACTLY how to do it better next year. But, of course, poor apes that we are, we won't know any better than we did this year. And once again you'll bear us patiently and clean up the mess on Monday when we're all squawking and screaming again.

Perhaps Mona Lisa was Da Vinci's mother..... and he gave her paints for Mother's Day .... and the poor woman had to pose for him ....that might explain the smile...

I wish you the happiest of Mother's Days !