Home Affairs

You feel ....well, all "mushy". That certain someone is on your mind just ALL the time. You stare at your computer screen because you know there's something your boss expects you to be doing there, but all you can see is the image in your mind. Your fingers twitch as they remember the soft, warm flesh of the one you love. Ah, that word. "Love". Your breath catches at the thought of it. That word was just MADE for the two of you. You smile and some idiot in the office asks you what's funny. You don't deign to answer; you point vaguely to your screen and shrug, then hunch over your keyboard to look busy so that he or she will go away. You sigh .... this is the ONE. You become vaguely aware that your hands are damp. So are your armpits. Your throat is dry. You don't care. Life is wonderful.

Summer becomes autumn - and you don't care about that either. Autumn is pretty too. Romantic. So is winter. A June wedding. Ah, what could be better! And it's all true. It's actually happening!

Then the moment comes. You take the day off work to go and apply for .... the marriage licence! Yes, Yes, YES! It's REAL!

And you find that you're already married.

Some illegal immigrant has bribed someone (perish the thought - in OUR country?) to marry you on paper to legalize his sojourn under our sunny skies. You have a name you cannot pronounce and a husband you don't want to visualize. Crash.

I remember such an incident specifically, some years ago - and many others have been reported in the media. So serious was the matter, in fact, that the Department of Home Affairs created a place on their website where people can check their marital staus online. Interested? If you think you're single, perhaps you'd better check www.homeaffairs.gov.za/status/marital_status.asp to see if they agree.

Good luck.

But, hey, don't worry. Be happy. Remember - you're proudly Safrican! Why shouldn't you be? Some guy thinks that's important enough to marry you sight unseen and make no demands on you. Just to also be Proudly Safrican! Cool, hey?