Whoever drafted this e-mail originally kinda captured the culture!
This is a great country because:
1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.
2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.
3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.
4. You can experience pathetic service in eleven official languages.
5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.
7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs,
Drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke,
All at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.
8. Great accent. (!!!)
9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the
Most dangerous city in the world.
10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.
11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.
12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.
13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins
14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.
15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
16. A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.
17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled
19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!
20. Condoms for free - shopping plastic bags for sale
Ja nee!! Dis lekker hier!!
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Sunday, 15 November 2009
World Cup Fever
I do believe that Soccer World Cup Fever has affected the minds of this country's decision-makers. As I contemplate the 6-or-7 week school holiday approaching with some (major) trepidation, I cannot help wondering about the minds of those who decided that all schools will be closed for two months next year during the World Cup.
We already have a serious problem and have received warnings from the police about the danger of young girls being abducted to boost the supply of prostitutes for the World Cup demand. We expect a substantial increase in levels of crime (in South Africa? Perish the thought...!), but in their mighty wisdom these minds are quite happy to have the entire country's child population unsupervised during the two months of increased danger to them.
During December a large number of businesses shut down and families tend to take their annual holidays. In June / July, however, all those parents - lucky enough to have jobs - will be working. Our kids will be bored out of their minds for a sustained length of time, easy prey for those hordes of "visitors" who will visit our shores and then leave us to pick up the pieces.
How do other parents feel about this issue?
We already have a serious problem and have received warnings from the police about the danger of young girls being abducted to boost the supply of prostitutes for the World Cup demand. We expect a substantial increase in levels of crime (in South Africa? Perish the thought...!), but in their mighty wisdom these minds are quite happy to have the entire country's child population unsupervised during the two months of increased danger to them.
During December a large number of businesses shut down and families tend to take their annual holidays. In June / July, however, all those parents - lucky enough to have jobs - will be working. Our kids will be bored out of their minds for a sustained length of time, easy prey for those hordes of "visitors" who will visit our shores and then leave us to pick up the pieces.
How do other parents feel about this issue?
Sunday, 1 November 2009
It's a Crime ...
Some crime statistics were reported recently in the local newspaper covering my suburb and, basically, three other main suburbs in my area: Bramley, where I live, Sandringham to the south-east of us, Norwood, south-west and Yeoville, south of us.
What horrifies me about these statistics is that I know for a fact that, horrific as they are, many crimes go unreported because it's a waste of time reporting them. When my daughter's friend was robbed in Bramley, he didn't report it. A car stopped next to him, four guys jumped out, held a gun to his head, took his cell phone, went through his pockets, then casually drove away. When my daughter was robbed at knife-point in Yeoville (quite a while back), we didn't report it. I drove around in my car with a "sjambok" trying to find the guy to sort him out myself, but reporting it would have served no purpose. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, just badly shaken.
A woman who is a hawker in Highlands North, just near a major bus stop, was robbed of her daily earnings at gunpoint, by a guy driving a white minibus taxi. Once again, he drove off quite casually, without any fear. A friend of mine, awaiting a bus, spoke to the woman shortly after the incident. She was clearly shaken, terrified for the baby strapped to her back - and devastated by her loss of earnings.
Check out these statistics and draw a conclusion about the state of the environment we live in and try to raise kids in:
These statistics, for April 2008 to March 2009 were published in our "North Eastern Tribune" of Oct. 2nd 2009.(Apparently the second figure reflects the drop or increase from the first figure)
Bramley:
Murder: 12 - 18
Sex crimes: 47 - 44
Robbery (aggravated): 667-739
Housebreaking business: 250-236
Housebreaking residential: 322 - 289
Theft of motor vehicles: 425 - 334
Car jacking: 158 - 229
Business robbery: 93 - 84
House robbery: 93 - 84
Sandringham:
Murder: 13 - 16
Sex crimes: 29 - 38
Robbery (aggravated): 326 - 411
Housebreaking business: 91 - 97
Housebreaking residential: 230 - 290
Theft of motor vehicles: 93 - 80
Car jacking: 104 - 154
Business robbery: 28 - 23
House robbery: 64 - 80
Norwood:
Murder: 4-5
Sex crimes: 39-75
Robbery (aggravated): 524 - 371
Housebreaking business: 107 - 117
Housebreaking residential: 451 - 357
Theft of motor vehicles: 208 - 217
Car jacking: 110 - 62
Business robbery: 35 - 52
House robbery: 88 - 70
Yeoville:
Murder: 20 - 24
Sex crimes: 72 - 121
Robbery (aggravated): 416 - 219
Housebreaking business: 75 - 104
Housebreaking residential: 226 - 228
Theft of motor vehicles: 184 - 143
Car jacking: 54 - 25
Business robbery: 18 - 34
House robbery: 53 - 42
Add all of those together, and you'll have a picture of my local environment.
These areas are no "Manhattans" in terms of population density; they are pretty ordinary suburbs of Johannesburg.
What horrifies me about these statistics is that I know for a fact that, horrific as they are, many crimes go unreported because it's a waste of time reporting them. When my daughter's friend was robbed in Bramley, he didn't report it. A car stopped next to him, four guys jumped out, held a gun to his head, took his cell phone, went through his pockets, then casually drove away. When my daughter was robbed at knife-point in Yeoville (quite a while back), we didn't report it. I drove around in my car with a "sjambok" trying to find the guy to sort him out myself, but reporting it would have served no purpose. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, just badly shaken.
A woman who is a hawker in Highlands North, just near a major bus stop, was robbed of her daily earnings at gunpoint, by a guy driving a white minibus taxi. Once again, he drove off quite casually, without any fear. A friend of mine, awaiting a bus, spoke to the woman shortly after the incident. She was clearly shaken, terrified for the baby strapped to her back - and devastated by her loss of earnings.
Check out these statistics and draw a conclusion about the state of the environment we live in and try to raise kids in:
These statistics, for April 2008 to March 2009 were published in our "North Eastern Tribune" of Oct. 2nd 2009.(Apparently the second figure reflects the drop or increase from the first figure)
Bramley:
Murder: 12 - 18
Sex crimes: 47 - 44
Robbery (aggravated): 667-739
Housebreaking business: 250-236
Housebreaking residential: 322 - 289
Theft of motor vehicles: 425 - 334
Car jacking: 158 - 229
Business robbery: 93 - 84
House robbery: 93 - 84
Sandringham:
Murder: 13 - 16
Sex crimes: 29 - 38
Robbery (aggravated): 326 - 411
Housebreaking business: 91 - 97
Housebreaking residential: 230 - 290
Theft of motor vehicles: 93 - 80
Car jacking: 104 - 154
Business robbery: 28 - 23
House robbery: 64 - 80
Norwood:
Murder: 4-5
Sex crimes: 39-75
Robbery (aggravated): 524 - 371
Housebreaking business: 107 - 117
Housebreaking residential: 451 - 357
Theft of motor vehicles: 208 - 217
Car jacking: 110 - 62
Business robbery: 35 - 52
House robbery: 88 - 70
Yeoville:
Murder: 20 - 24
Sex crimes: 72 - 121
Robbery (aggravated): 416 - 219
Housebreaking business: 75 - 104
Housebreaking residential: 226 - 228
Theft of motor vehicles: 184 - 143
Car jacking: 54 - 25
Business robbery: 18 - 34
House robbery: 53 - 42
Add all of those together, and you'll have a picture of my local environment.
These areas are no "Manhattans" in terms of population density; they are pretty ordinary suburbs of Johannesburg.
A Case for Darwin
I have come to the conclusion that South Africa has an irrefutable case to support the theory of evolution.
Sheer assholes have mutated to develop arms and legs - and drive motor vehicles.
That is not a statement against the average motorist. I find most motorists to be fairly responsible and well-mannered - but from the saddle of a motor-cycle, these mutations are extremely evident. They do not conform to any colour or either gender (or derivatives thereof) or to any nationality or language group. However, they do seem to be more attracted to certain models of cars than others - which I won't mention in respect to the motor manufacturers.
One hopes that in time they will develop brains too, but it's unlikely that most of us will live long enough to see that.
Amazingly, in our democracy, they even get to vote! In fact, some of them even get to occupy positions ......this may be a good time to stop the commentary.
Want to experience this amazing scientific phenomenon? Get a motor cycle ....
Sheer assholes have mutated to develop arms and legs - and drive motor vehicles.
That is not a statement against the average motorist. I find most motorists to be fairly responsible and well-mannered - but from the saddle of a motor-cycle, these mutations are extremely evident. They do not conform to any colour or either gender (or derivatives thereof) or to any nationality or language group. However, they do seem to be more attracted to certain models of cars than others - which I won't mention in respect to the motor manufacturers.
One hopes that in time they will develop brains too, but it's unlikely that most of us will live long enough to see that.
Amazingly, in our democracy, they even get to vote! In fact, some of them even get to occupy positions ......this may be a good time to stop the commentary.
Want to experience this amazing scientific phenomenon? Get a motor cycle ....
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