On the Bright Side.....

Whoever drafted this e-mail originally kinda captured the culture!

This is a great country because:

1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience pathetic service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.

7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs,
Drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke,
All at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

8. Great accent. (!!!)

9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the
Most dangerous city in the world.

10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.

13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins

14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

16. A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

20. Condoms for free - shopping plastic bags for sale

Ja nee!! Dis lekker hier!!

World Cup Fever

I do believe that Soccer World Cup Fever has affected the minds of this country's decision-makers. As I contemplate the 6-or-7 week school holiday approaching with some (major) trepidation, I cannot help wondering about the minds of those who decided that all schools will be closed for two months next year during the World Cup.

We already have a serious problem and have received warnings from the police about the danger of young girls being abducted to boost the supply of prostitutes for the World Cup demand. We expect a substantial increase in levels of crime (in South Africa? Perish the thought...!), but in their mighty wisdom these minds are quite happy to have the entire country's child population unsupervised during the two months of increased danger to them.

During December a large number of businesses shut down and families tend to take their annual holidays. In June / July, however, all those parents - lucky enough to have jobs - will be working. Our kids will be bored out of their minds for a sustained length of time, easy prey for those hordes of "visitors" who will visit our shores and then leave us to pick up the pieces.

How do other parents feel about this issue?

It's a Crime ...

Some crime statistics were reported recently in the local newspaper covering my suburb and, basically, three other main suburbs in my area: Bramley, where I live, Sandringham to the south-east of us, Norwood, south-west and Yeoville, south of us.

What horrifies me about these statistics is that I know for a fact that, horrific as they are, many crimes go unreported because it's a waste of time reporting them. When my daughter's friend was robbed in Bramley, he didn't report it. A car stopped next to him, four guys jumped out, held a gun to his head, took his cell phone, went through his pockets, then casually drove away. When my daughter was robbed at knife-point in Yeoville (quite a while back), we didn't report it. I drove around in my car with a "sjambok" trying to find the guy to sort him out myself, but reporting it would have served no purpose. Thankfully she wasn't hurt, just badly shaken.

A woman who is a hawker in Highlands North, just near a major bus stop, was robbed of her daily earnings at gunpoint, by a guy driving a white minibus taxi. Once again, he drove off quite casually, without any fear. A friend of mine, awaiting a bus, spoke to the woman shortly after the incident. She was clearly shaken, terrified for the baby strapped to her back - and devastated by her loss of earnings.

Check out these statistics and draw a conclusion about the state of the environment we live in and try to raise kids in:

These statistics, for April 2008 to March 2009 were published in our "North Eastern Tribune" of Oct. 2nd 2009.(Apparently the second figure reflects the drop or increase from the first figure)

Bramley:

Murder: 12 - 18
Sex crimes: 47 - 44
Robbery (aggravated): 667-739
Housebreaking business: 250-236
Housebreaking residential: 322 - 289
Theft of motor vehicles: 425 - 334
Car jacking: 158 - 229
Business robbery: 93 - 84
House robbery: 93 - 84

Sandringham:

Murder: 13 - 16
Sex crimes: 29 - 38
Robbery (aggravated): 326 - 411
Housebreaking business: 91 - 97
Housebreaking residential: 230 - 290
Theft of motor vehicles: 93 - 80
Car jacking: 104 - 154
Business robbery: 28 - 23
House robbery: 64 - 80

Norwood:

Murder: 4-5
Sex crimes: 39-75
Robbery (aggravated): 524 - 371
Housebreaking business: 107 - 117
Housebreaking residential: 451 - 357
Theft of motor vehicles: 208 - 217
Car jacking: 110 - 62
Business robbery: 35 - 52
House robbery: 88 - 70

Yeoville:

Murder: 20 - 24
Sex crimes: 72 - 121
Robbery (aggravated): 416 - 219
Housebreaking business: 75 - 104
Housebreaking residential: 226 - 228
Theft of motor vehicles: 184 - 143
Car jacking: 54 - 25
Business robbery: 18 - 34
House robbery: 53 - 42

Add all of those together, and you'll have a picture of my local environment.

These areas are no "Manhattans" in terms of population density; they are pretty ordinary suburbs of Johannesburg.

A Case for Darwin

I have come to the conclusion that South Africa has an irrefutable case to support the theory of evolution.

Sheer assholes have mutated to develop arms and legs - and drive motor vehicles.

That is not a statement against the average motorist. I find most motorists to be fairly responsible and well-mannered - but from the saddle of a motor-cycle, these mutations are extremely evident. They do not conform to any colour or either gender (or derivatives thereof) or to any nationality or language group. However, they do seem to be more attracted to certain models of cars than others - which I won't mention in respect to the motor manufacturers.

One hopes that in time they will develop brains too, but it's unlikely that most of us will live long enough to see that.

Amazingly, in our democracy, they even get to vote! In fact, some of them even get to occupy positions ......this may be a good time to stop the commentary.

Want to experience this amazing scientific phenomenon? Get a motor cycle ....

Latest letter from Jozikids

Here's a copy of the latest newsletter from Jozikids. If you have kids and live in the Johannesburg / Pretoria / Sandton / East or West Rand area and haven't already visited this site, I recommend that you do so.

Dear Mike

Over 20 new companies have joined us, including ones offering crafts with recycled products, educational games, toys, party services, photography, kids rugs and a martial arts and wellness centre. We hope you find something that interests you.

One of our blog writers, Laura-kim, is organising a Christmas party for children at a home in Soweto run by Joburg Child Welfare. She is looking for sponsors. Click here to see how you can help.

Enter our competition and stand a chance to win Nintendo Wii or DS games or rugby trading cards.
Advertise your company on Jozikids and get 1 month free trial to try us out.



NEW DEALS
Kids Wonderland 10% off the party venue hire. Expires 31 December.

O'Griet Artwork and Lessons. Book a pottery party for 10 kids min. & get free invitations for your guests. Expires 1 Feb'10

Little Gift and Craft Workshop. Free set of craft brushes for first workshop booked and attended. Expires 15 Dec.

Organic Mall.Co.Za Save 10% on the Baberoo Necksaver, was R149.50 now R134.55. Oct. only.

Funbelievable Parties Free DVD slideshow of party photos for Oct. bookings. Client supply photos.

Freaky Fear Kids Parties. Get animal show free when selected activities are booked in party package. Expires 29 Oct.

1 Presents and Novelties Free mystery gift with every Halloween item purchase over R100. Expires 31 Oct.



NEW ADVERTISERS
CAKES Sweetest Li'l Cupcake Co. Sunninghill, cupcakes handmade with the finest ingredients.
Cindy's Cakes Jhb, for birthday, character and fancy cupcakes. Orders delivered to you.

CHILDCARE Bumblebee Buddies Jhb & Pta placement of Au pairs, Babysitters, Drivers, Housesitters.

CRAFTS 2 Tiny Hands Kids Craft and Recycled Craft, Fourways. Shop & craft parties. Bring 6 kids & get 1 free. Expires 31 Oct.

EDUC TOYS Tinted Design and Publishing, All areas, Educational games, puzzles, posters.
Educational Toys Online Toys, puzzles, games, arts & crafts, classroom resources for teachers.
Big Ball Promotions Rugby Trading Cards, All areas, Card Collection of SA Rugby players.
Hobby Animals Meyerton, hand made toys, stuffed animals, traditional toys & games.

FOOD 1st. Hot Dog Co. Jhb, premium fast food mobile units for events and functions.

PARTIES
ENTERTAINERS Josh Posh Pony Rides All areas, Jhb, pony rides for parties & functions.
Candy Kids Fun Rides Jhb, merry go rounds, trains, swings, marquees, carousels for hire.
Jungle Farm Parties Jhb, animal show w/ farm animals, reptiles & insects for parties.

PACKS Party Buckets Brakpan, Jhb, buckets filled with goodies for kids parties & functions.

PLANNERS El Shaddai Gauteng, planners and equip. suppliers for kids parties.
Horo Trading Kiddies Parties. Planners & equip. suppliers. R100 off booking. Expires 31 October.
I-Hop Trading Ent. cc Gauteng, planners for kids parties & events.

MARTIAL ARTS Inner Energy Martial Arts and Wellness Centre, Randpark Ridge, Jhb, taekwondo, cardio kickboxing, MMA combat conditioning, capoeira & pilates - all ages.

PHOTOGRAPHY Billene Photography Gauteng, photographer for portfolios and functions.

RUGS L'l Bratz Roomz and Rugz All areas, rugs for nurseries, kids rooms & playrooms.

SCHOOLS Pebbles Pre-School Bedfordview, creche with holiday and aftercare.

TOURISM Yes We Can Travel Jhb, Travel & tourism, trips & tours, chauffeurs, event co-ordination.

Please share this newsletter with your friends and encourage them to sign up.
Advertise your company on Jozikids, get one month free.


Regards
The Jozikids Team
info@jozikids.co.za
011 482 4310
www.jozikids.co.za

"Just A Biker"

I received this in an email this week - and I can really identify with it. Feel free to pass it around - but above all: if you're a driver, please make a mental note ....



'JUST A BIKER

I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line. But you didn't see me put an extra 10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.

I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk. But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local Mall.

I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant when you saw my bike parked out front. But you didn't see me attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief.

I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by. But you didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children. But you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.

I saw you stare at my long hair. But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.

I saw you roll your eyes at our Leather jackets and gloves. But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none.

I saw you look in fright at my tattoos. But you didn't see me cry as my children were born or have their names written over and in my heart.

I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere. But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.

I saw you, complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be. But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.

I saw you yelling at your kids in the car. But you didn't see me pat my child's hands knowing she was safe behind me.

I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road. But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.

I saw you race down the road in the rain. But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.

I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time. But you didn't see me trying to turn right.

I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in. But you didn't see me leave the road.

I saw you, waiting impatiently for my friends to pass. But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.

I saw you go home to your family. But you didn't see me. Because I died that day you cut me off.

I was just a biker. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.'

Repost this around in hopes that people will understand the biker community.

Welcome Home, Little Carl!

My little grand-nephew, Carl, has just spent the past week in hospital with the dreaded Swine 'Flu. It was truly a very worrying time for us all, but thankfully he returned home today, weakened, but cured.

Thankfully the rest of the family, including his little 4-month old sister, appear to have escaped the infection.

My family and I thank Almighty God, Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for this wonderful blessing; and for their comfort and presence during this time deep concern for us.

Thank You.

Starbase Telecoms

What a pleasure it is to promote a business that I have such a high personal regard for and have had the pleasure of doing business with for almost 20 years!

Starbase Telecoms supplies top quality headsets for call centres, busy switchboards, office and home usage, as well as lightning protection for telephone and computer networks, music-on-hold or advertising-on-hold, and small to heavy duty ringing devices for normal to very noisy environments.

I got to know Peter Croft, the Principal of this dynamic business, twenty years ago. During my long stint as a buyer / stock controller in a leading S.A. telecommunications company, I got to rely more and more on Peter's excellent advice, quality products and highly professional service. Nothing was ever too much trouble for him or his colleagues - from Peter himself, to his sales personnel, administrative personnel, or the driver who delivered the products.

Service delivery and after-sales service from this company is of the highest quality and delivered with a rare kind of pleasantness, friendliness and fresh eagerness.

If you're in the market for any of these products, I recommend that you make Starbase Telecoms your first port of call. And if you're not, right at this moment, give them a call anyway and establish that personal contact for when you do need to chuck out that old headset or add some lightning protection - or update your music-on-hold to something more professional. You'll be glad that you did!

Bikes and Taxis

What fun .... I smashed my bike a few weeks ago and for the past three weeks I've had to resort to using the infamous minibus taxis to work and back each day.

On my way home from work on that fateful Thursday afternoon, a gentleman decided to change lanes to get past a stationery bus. I happened to be next to him at the time, apparently in his "blind spot". He hit the bike - not hard, but hard enough to send me sprawling into the road ahead. The bike came tumbling after and climbed up on top of me. My injuries were limited to my left leg - knee, ankle foot ....., and the bike's damage, fortunately, more from the road than from the impact with the car. However, it's taken three weeks for the repair work to even begin.

Hence my introduction to minibus taxis. Three of them to work each day and another three back. One from my home into Johannesburg city, to the infamous Noord Street taxi rank, another from there to Benoni and a third one from Benoni to the Industrial sites where I work.

If there's one thing I've learnt, it's to keep away from them when I'm back on the bike - these guys are serious about their driving!!

The mornings were cold on the bike - very cold. But I never got sick or caught a cold. The taxis are a lot warmer, but with everyone squashed up against one another and everyone around one sniffling and coughing, I suppose it was inevitable that the bug would amble across the mass of bodies to me too. Now I have a thick head, a running cold, and a tight cough!

I cannot wait to get onto my bike again, feel the good, fresh air in my face and the magnificence of independence!

When's 2023? I wannabe 14....

When's 2023? Being one month sucks - everybody thinks they know exactly what I'm thinking and that all I do is sleep! When I'm 14, I'll let them know EXACTLY what I'm thinking! I know my cousin does ... or maybe she's my aunt....? (Gotta figure these things). Anyway, she's 14 and she's BIG.

At least my father says it's safe to go back in the water now, because the sharks' teeth have been pulled. He says it has something to do with blue bulls (at least, I HOPE he said 'bulls' ....). Don't quite get it, but it's good to know, because it's nearly bath time ....

(Sigh) Roll on fourteen. Maybe if I sleep it'll come faster....

(For our international readers, today was the clash of the Titan rugby teams, the Blue Bulls versus the Sharks. The Blue Bulls were victorious. We won't divulge who the child's father supports, but perhaps the picture below holds a clue.)



Well done to the Blue Bulls!

Well, Hello, Mr. President.....

The moment of truth ...is he the man his accusers say he is, or the man his supporters say he is?

It's time to hold our criticisms in check and to get on with the process of government reform. President Zuma and his colleagues need time and space to show what they're made of, so let them do it in a positive atmosphere.

I do believe that he has the potential to be a great leader. A little voice inside my head worries about the long-term consequences of possible attempts by his camp to squash investigations into past actions. When the squashing begins, by the people in power, it could culminate in another Mugabe-type of political gangsterism. However, the office of the Presidency has been filled and the status quo established. It's time to silence the little voices and give the man the chance to be the great leader we hope he is.

I do believe that President Zuma has the capacity to listen and to weigh up what he hears, as opposed to the rather stubborn approach of those who knew it all and dictated their beliefs in a "no-argument allowed" fashion. We look forward to a time of greater co-operation between the ruling party and the opposition parties, for the greater good of the land, and most especially in the areas of service delivery to the poor.

Return us to the dreams of our legendary Nelson Mandela, Mr. President, and we'll all be winners.

Mother's Day & More - from Jozikids; Apr/May/Jun

Newsletter
28 April 2009

Dear Mike,

In this issue we start bringing you Mother's Day Events (below) and Specials:

Yeesh- Receive a free beauty gift and a rose!
Create a Star- Order a My Special Mom book for Mother's Day & receive free bubble bath.
Predator World -Free entry and a gift for moms on Mother's Day.
Keedo@Home-20% discount on all winter merchandise May 1-10 only.
Zwartkops Quad Centre Moms Special-buy 2 laps and get 2 free May 9,10.
Just 2 more days to go before our COMPETITION with 40 book prizes to be won, closes. Don't forget to enter before it's too late. We will be running a new compeition in May with a range of very different prizes. Watch this space to find out more.


New MAY/ JUNE events in this issue:
Kasabow Kids Bookshop-Free Book Readings, Craighall Park (BOOKS)
Star Quality Performing Arts School, Acting Classes, Rivonia (DRAMA)
Mothers Day @ Yeesh!, Woodmead (MOTHER'S DAY)
Keedo Winter Fashion Show, Broadacres (MOTHER'S DAY)
Indulgence Mother’s Day Lunch, Northcliff (MOTHERS DAY)
Smudge Art Centre Mothers Day Week, Craighall Park (MOTHER'S DAY)
Zwartkops Quad Centre Mother's Day Special, Centurion (MOTHER'S DAY)
Sci-Bono Science Festival for Schools, Newtown (SCIENCE/TECH)
Animal Farm, Dance Factory, Newtown(THEATRE)
The Genius of Water for Kids, Johannesburg (WORKSHOPS)


APRIL/ MAY/ JUNE EVENTS:

ANIMALS
Magalies Fly-fishing Special, learn to fly-fish & enjoy a day in the country, Magaliesburg, Mar 25-May 5.
Shepherd's Fold Stables Sunset outrides Jun 5; Camps Jun 29-Jul 1; Horse course Jun 16, Elandsrift.

ARTS/CRAFTS
Crystal Kidz Creativity Wkshps, Petervale/Bryanston, Apr 28-30, May 4,5

BOOKS
Story Hour/ Storie- Uur at BOEKEHUIS, Auckland Park, every Wednesday afternoon.
Free Book Readings at Kasabow, the ultimate Kids Bookshop May 8; & make Mother's Day cards May 9.

BUFFET LUNCH Family Sunday Lunch ,at the Hyatt Regency Hotel w/ kids activities, Rosebank, every Sunday.

COOKING
Little Cooks Club Holiday cooking workshops in May & Jun.
uShef Cooking Courses for kids from 7yrs & domestic workers, Olivedale, in May.
My Suite Hyatt Mini Hoteliers program, Hyatt Regency Hotel, Rosebank, every Saturday.

DANCE
The Happy Prince a kids ballet production by Ballet Bugs, Braamfontein Jun 23-26; Pretoria Jul 7-10

DRAMA
Star Quality Acting classes w/musical theatre, improvisation & more, Rivonia, every Sat.
National Childrens Theatre Challenging, innovative & stimulating theatre wksps, Parktown, every Sat.

EXPO SOS² Reptile Expo SA’s biggest collection of reptiles, Kempton Park, May 2-3.

FAMILY HOLIDAYS
Program w/ Wild Dophins w/ DolphinCare-Africa & Dolphin EnCOuntours, Mozambique, Apr 27-May 3.
Swim w/ Dolphins Family Holidays, Halo Gaia Holistic Tourism, Mozambique,Jul 9-12; Dec 12-16.

FUN
Assumption Convent Fun Day, giant slides, jumping castles, food & flea stalls, Malvern, May 16.
Yeesh Holiday Easter fun, paint Easter eggs, Woodmead, Bryanston, Apr 1-30.

GARDENING Soil & Planting Workshop for kids & adults, Ludwigs Rose Farm, Pretoria May 2

HOLIDAY PROGRAMS
River Cafe Holiday program, Parkmore, Apr 29,30.
O'Summit Montessori Holiday Club, lots of fun activities, Bryanston, Apr 16-30.
Kids Holiday Club 5 days of kids activities, Wilro Park, Roodepoort, Jun 29-Jul 3.
Fame Academy Holiday Wksps-singing, acting, dancing w/professionals, June 29-Jul 3; July 6-10; Jul 13-17.

MARKETS
Body, Mind and Soul Fayre for holistic fun & entertainmt in Blairgowrie May 31; Edenvale June 7.
Hazel Food Market , food products, kids craft classes & a jumping castle, Pta, Sat. mornings.
Rosemary Hill Market w/ quality produce & kids activities, Pta East, 2nd & last Sun of mnth.
Irene Village Market at the Smuts Museum, Irene, Pretoria, 2nd & last Sat of every mnth.
The Rustic Food Market w/homemade and farm produce, Fourways, every Sun.
blubird Whole Food Market for fresh produce, Birnam, every Sun.
Jozi Food Market in Parktown North every Sat morning.
Urban Midrand Market, for quality goods & kids activities, 1st Sat of every mnth.
Craighall River Craft Market w/organic food, playgd & pony rides, 2nd Sat of every mnth.
Bryanston Organic & Natural Market, food, crafts, kids activities, every Thurs & Sat, 9am-3pm.
Crafter's Market at Bokkie Park, Boksburg-1st Sat of mnth; Bunny Park, Benoni- last Sat of mnth.

MOTHER'S DAY Zwartkops Quad Centre Moms buy 2 rides & get 2 free, Centurion, May 9,10.
Ushef cooking for Mother's Day, May 2; cooking with mum ,May 10, Olivedale.
Keedo Winter Fashion Show for Mother’s Day w/ prizes to be won, Broadacres, May 9.
Yeesh! Mothers Day free beauty gift & a rose, Woodmead, May 10.
Friends of the rail Bela Bela – Mothers Day trip to Marula Mountain Village, May 10.
Smudge Art Mothers Day Week -flower frames, Craighall Park, May 5-10.
Indulgence Coffee Cafe home of Lollipops Catering, Mother’s Day Lunch w/ live jazz, Northcliff, May 10.

MUSIC
Johannesburg Festival Orchestra,Old Mutual Encounters Concert, Emmarentia, May 3.
“Make a Note of It“Alfresco Musical Feast for families, St Mary's School, Waverley, May 31.
Music for Toddlers, Smudge Art Centre,Craighall Park, every Fri.
Sundowner Music Concerts, at UJ Kingsway Art Centre, Auckland Park, every Mon.

NATURE
Stargazing at Maropeng with astronomer, Vincent Nettmann, May 23, Jun 11.
Planetarium, shows & lectures, Braamfontein, Thur, Fri & Sat.

PARENTING
Bright Ideas, wkshps by Nikki Bush for parents, Bryanston, Edenvale, Mar-May.

SCIENCE/TECH
Sci-Bono Science Festival From evolution to exploring the universe for schools,Newtown, May 19-23.

THEATRE
Animal Farm by Sibikwa Arts Centre, Dance Factory, Newtown, May 11-30 excl Sun.
Princess Magogo,opera, Nelson Mandela Theatre, Braamfontein, Apr 30; May 3,8.
Cuban Ballet Stars perform at Aula Theatre, Pretoria, May 14,18
Othello Shakespeare’s tragedy about racism, love, betrayal, UJ/ Auckland Park, May 28-Jun 4.
Pippi Longstocking, interactive kids theatre, National Childrens Theatre, Parktown, Jun 8-Aug 1
Coppélia by SA Ballet Theatre, Roodepoort, Jun 12-14,16,18-21,23-8.

TRAINS
Friends of the Rail, Steam train trip to Pretoria-Tshwane, Cullinan/ Bela Bela, Pretoria, May 2,30; Jun 16,21,28.

WALKS/HIKES
Check the calender every weekend for a list of regular walks or hikes in Gauteng.
The National Zoological Gardens of SA (Pretoria Zoo) 5km Fun Run/Walk, 3rd Sat of mnth.
Delta Park Walks Victory park, every 3rd Sun of mnth.
The Zoo Trot at JHB Zoo, May 17, June 14.
Alberts Farm Walk in Greymont, 3rd Sun of every mnth.
Kloofendal Nature Reserve Weekly guided walks & talks, Roodepoort, in Mar & Apr.
Melville Koppies Open Days, every Sunday.
Melville Koppies West Walk , Westdene, 1st Saturday of every mnth.
Sandspruit Walk in Rivonia, every Sunday.
Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve in Mondeor, every 2nd & 4th Sun of the mnth.
Petathon Walk A walk or run with or without a dog +-10km/ 550m, Hartbeespoort, Jun 20.

WORKSHOPS
The Genius of Water for Kids, Exploring the magic of water, Johannesburg, May 23.

YOGA
Revitalise Your Soul, Mom’s Yoga 5 week Series, Yoga Warrior, Rosebank, May 6-Jun 3.
Yoga Child Yoga Warrior classes for kids, incl storytelling, games & music, Rosebank, May 9.


We welcome your feedback. If there's something we have missed, please email us with your suggestions. Meanwhile, please share this with your friends and encourage them to sign up for this FREE newsletter.

Regards
The Jozikids Team
info@jozikids.co.za
011 482 4310
http://www.jozikids.co.za/

No Electile Dysfunction Here!

Well, the nation's general elections are a thing of the past, and to all accounts that I'm aware of, it all went rather well. My experience of it was very organized and peaceful. No surprises in the results. Now we wait and see.

Two more public holidays this week, then life should get back to more-or-less normal here. Honking taxis, rising prices, the serious business of crime and the equally serious business of denying its seriousness......apathetic government departments - especially in Welfare - and police more acute at dodging having to open cases than dodging bullets.....

Ho-Hum.

At least we have the 2010 Soccer Cup to divert attention.

Odds and Evens

Tomorrow we go to the polls to vote for a new government. I received a timely e-mail from my aunt in America to say that she'd seen some pictures of "your new man in South Africa", referring to Jacob Zuma, probable new President.

"He seems to like dancing around dressed in animal skins...don't you think that's a little odd?"

I guess it does seem a little odd in the international context. (I couldn't help trying to conjure up some mental images of other world leaders prancing about in traditional dress. It did put a smile of my face, I must admit.)

A little more odd to us, though, are his vociferous cries against corruption - for which he is / isn't supposed to stand trial (depending on the mood of the day) - and the fight against HIV/Aids, in light of his 'showering after unprotected sex with a known Aids victim' debacle.

On the positive side, though, here's a leader who speaks from the heart, doesn't speak down to his audience and thinks about what he's saying as opposed to reading pre-prepared responses. Despite his rather odd actions, an element of sincerity eminates from him, which is rather appealing, if a little frightening. All rather odd indeed.

On the Evens, the split in the African National Congress (ANC) that gave rise to the breakway Congress of the People (COPE) party, adds an interesting element to these elections. Results have traditionally been a certain ANC runaway victory, with a very second-place Democratic Alliance (DA) as official opposition and not much else featuring. While COPE is unlikely to do much damage at the polls to the ANC, the DA certainly seems to have strengthened considerably, gaining credibility from the bickering of the other two.

The likelihood is an ANC victory by a slightly diminished margin, with the DA as official opposition, with substantially more support than they've enjoyed previously. However, the possible alliances that could spring up could prove interesting, with some rather strange bedfellows.

It would be rather nice to have at least a fair number of COPE candidates winning seats in Parliament - after all, who could level effective criticism and provide expose`s quite as effectively as dissidents who once formed part of the ANC's inner circle?

Corruption amongst officials, rampant crime and pathetic service delivery in this country is certainly not the dream Nelson Mandela envisaged, yet support for the ruling party seems unabated - rather odd.

On the evens, though, we still have a democracy - and a democracy where corrupt officials are still charged and disciplined, a feature not to be taken for granted in Africa.

Well, tomorrow will come and go - after which there'll probably be a lot more excitement about the 2010 Soccer World Cup than there was about our elections.

Work, Sweet Work.

In South Africa, April has been the month of Public Holidays. There isn't a full week's work this month. The Easter weekend gave us Friday last week and Monday this week. Next week would have been a full week, but Wednesday the 22nd has been declared a public holiday because the country goes to the polls in our General Elections. Monday the 27th is a local public holiday and Friday 1st May is, of course, Workers' Day.

All very pleasant for people earning fixed salaries, but less exciting for contractors and others who get paid by the hour. Add to that kids who would rather be spending money on the holidays than conserving it, and life gets fairly interesting.

Thankfully, we have been enjoying the most glorious Autumn weather, with "fresh" mornings and sunny , warm days. Great outdoor weather. How I envy people who live in the coastal regions, where the family can spend these days on the beach at virtually no cost! In a city like Johannesburg, there's little that one can do for entertainment that doesn't cost fairly dearly.

Bored kids who are whining can be slightly irritating - but creative kids who are too quiet can be downright scary! Household items (that you actually procured for a reason!) can undergo some wonderful metamorphases as creative - and bored - young minds transform them into works of art and items that would stun the original designer!

Frankly, I don't have a major problem with that (except when I get woken up at 1:15am before a working day to "come and see what I've done to my room! Do you like it? Do you like it?"), but the task of keeping them occupied at minimum damage can be quite formidable! Then the sweet luxury of a day at the office in an environment that can be anticipated can be so theraputic and restful!

For a while. Hooray, tomorrow's Friday!

Away With The Blues

No more licensing blues! Monday morning was a breeze and I'm on the road legally again.

I went to the Marlboro Traffic Office (also in the Johannesburg Metropolitan area), with some trepidation, in case they sent me back to the City Centre to complete the transaction. No such problem.

By 7:00am a number of us were in a neat queue outside the front door, awaiting the 7:30 opening. By 7:30 the queue was quite long already, but I was relaxed - I was fourth from the front. They opened almost on time, by about 7:40. The doors opened and .....the queue disintegrated! A mass of bodies stormed the half-open door, determinedly led by a group of regulars, who register vehicles for other people. I emerged from the throng to find myself about twenty places down!

Fortunately, not too many were there for renewals, so that line moved fast. My hard-earned paperwork from Fruitless Friday was scanned briefly and before I knew it, my license was in my hand and my bank balance felt considerably lighter.

What a pleasure these glorious Autumn days are for biking - legally!

Licensing Blues

On Thursday I discovered that my bike license expired at the end of February, not the end of March, as I had thought. Panic. Fortunately on Friday we stop work at lunch time, so I sprang into action.

Unlike the driver's license, which one can process at any centre, renewing vehicle licenses has to be done within your residential municipality. I live in Johannesburg, but work in Benoni, about five minutes away from the Boksburg Licensing Department!

Anyway, I zoomed through Boksburg, stopping briefly at an ATM to draw enough cash for the license, then headed for the Johanneburg city centre as fast as I could, to get in before their 3:00pm closure.

Everything went perfectly. I was there shortly after 2:00pm, and had no problem finding a parking - having a bike, I simply parked on the pavement outside the front door, where bikes are expected to park!

Before I could get to the front door of the building, I was accosted by a couple of very persuasive men, who demanded to know what I was there for. When I told them, they expertly whipped out the appropriate form to fill in and announced that they would help me to complete it very quickly. I looked at them sceptically and asked if they worked there. They looked pained - and the one announced that the other one was "a consultant". They looked even more pained when I told them that I was perfectly capable of filling out a form without the help of consultants! "Well, at least buy us a cold drink," they whined.

Once inside, it took only moments to fill out the form, and there was someone on hand to show me which queue to join. Before too long, my number was called and someone processed my papers, then kept them and told me to join a different queue. That took longer, but a half hour or so later, a batch of numbers, including mine, was called and we were told which counter to go to. To my relief, that queue went fairly quickly - but it wasn't the goal yet. We were simply given our papers back, then told to join any of the others queues along a certain section, where the cashiers were.

3:00pm had come and gone, and the queues became shorter as no newcomers were allowed in. By shortly after 4:00pm, I had the goal in sight and was consoling myself that it had been worth it. At least my bike would be on the road legally again within a few minutes.

When my turn came, my papers were scrutinized, then shoved back at me. "You have an outstanding amount to pay on another vehicle," was the announcement. "Go to counter 20 and get a R114 form. You'll have to pay that before you can get this."

Turned out that there were outstanding license fees on a vehicle that had been in someone else's possession for some time, but had never been transferred - so instead of having to pay R108 for my bike license, I now needed to pay R693.30. By the time I'd received my R114 form with the due amounts, counters were closing rapidly as people packed up for the weekend. "Do you accept cards?" I asked with resignation.

"Yes, no problem. Just go back to one of those cashier counters that are still open."

So back to the final queue I went, sorely depressed, but with the knowledge that at least I'd get my license disk now.

When I got to the front, I pushed my papers under the window, along with my card. The woman looked up, with what seemed to be a triumphant glint in her eyes. "We can't take cards," she announced, "we're off-line! Come back on Monday."

I limped out with my tail between my legs, and rode home as unobtrusively as possible. No prizes for guessing where I'll start my Monday......

Jozikids - March/April Events

Here are some listings of events for March and April, provided by the Jozikids website. The site has a wealth of information, event listings and places of interest in the Johannesburg area to keep your kids busy during the Easter school holidays. For more information, visit their site at www.jozikids.co.za

MARCH / APRIL EVENTS

ANIMALS Shumbashaba, Self awareness through horses for teenagers, Diepsloot, March.

ARTS/CRAFTS Smudge Art Centre music wkps & art activities, Craighall Park, Tues-Sun Mar 10-Apr 26.
Art Classes for teens & pre-teens w/Yda Walt, Auckland Park, Fridays. 1 free trial lesson.
Bryanston Organic & Natural Market puppet show & puppet making workshop, Apr 11.
Color Cafe ceramic painting for beginners, ladies night, moms & daughters, Hyde Park, Mar 13,27
Crystal Kidz Creativity Wkshps, Petervale/Bryanston in Feb/Mar & Easter Programme in Mar/Apr.
Ethno Art Studio charcoal wkshps & adult art classes, Honeydew, Mar 14, 28.

BOOKS Exclusive Books Children's Book Festival for kids u/12yrs Jhb & Pta, Mar-Apri.

BUFFET LUNCH Family Sunday Lunch ,at the Hyatt Regency Hotel w/ kids activities, Rosebank, every Sunday.

COOKING The Bread Workshop ,hands-on bread making wksps, Diespsloot, Mar 28,29.
Little Cooks Club , kids cooking classes, Rivonia, Kyalami, Fourways, Bryanston, Mar & Apr.
uShef Cooking Courses for kids from 7yrs & domestic workers, Olivedale, Mar & Apr.

DANCE Kim Field Winter Dance Workshops, breakdancing & hip hop lessons, Fourways, Mar 27-Apr 15.

EASTER Ludwigs Rose Farm Easter Weekend w/egg hunt, pony rides & more kids fun, Pretoria N, Apr 10-13.
Zwartkops Quad Centre Easter Egg Hunt!, Centurion, Apr 12.
Crystal Kidz Easter Creativity Programme @ Crystal Essence, Petervale/Bryanston.
Easter Bunny Cullinan Steam Train, Friends of the Rail, Apr 13.

FRANCHISEES Equal Zeal® Franchisee Training, Life Coaching Studio for Kids, Chartwell North, Mar 27-30.

FUN The Teddy Bears’ Picnic, Society for Animals in Distress, Midrand, fun for kids & adults, Mar 18.
Sinbad's Stunt Show Gold Reef City Theme Park Mar 28-Apr 14.
EQual Zeal™ Training Family Fun Day - Zeal the Zebra shows his True Colours Book Launch, live music, storytelling, life skills wksps etc., Chartwell, Mar 21.
Honeydew A-maze-ing Mazes Alien Sunday at the Lost in Space Maize Maze, Mar 15.
Playdays @ Elf's Hill, Randburg, Mar 18.
Drakes Party Farmyard, pony rides, waterslide & feeding farm animals, Linbro Park, every Mon & Wed.

GENIUS KidsLab & TeenLab Workshops, an intro to Genius Mind!, Jhb, Mar 21
The Matrix Workshop Wiz1, about how exactly we are 'plugged in, Jhb, Mar 28,29.

KIDS WORKSHOP My Suite Hyatt Mini Hoteliers program, Hyatt Regency Hotel, Rosebank, every Saturday.

MARKETS Body, Mind and Soul Fayre for holistic fun & entertainment in Edenvale/ Pretoria, Mar 7,8; Apr 5.
Rosemary Hill Market w/ quality produce & kids activities, Pta East, 2nd & last Sun of mnth.
The Rustic Food Market w/homemade and farm produce, Fourways, every Sun.
blubird Whole Food Market for fresh produce, Birnam, every Sun.
Jozi Food Market in Parktown North every Sat morning.
Urban Midrand Market, for quality goods and kids activities, 1st Sat of every mnth.
Crafter's Market at Bokkie Park, 1st Sat of every month in Boksburg.
Craighall River Craft Market w/organic food, playgd & pony rides, 2nd Sat of every mnth.
Bryanston Organic & Natural Market, food, crafts, kids activities, every Thurs & Sat, 9am-3pm.
Irene Village Market at the Smuts Museum, Irene, Pretoria, 2nd & last Sat of every mnth.

MUSIC Old Mutual Blues, Jazz and Roots Festival @ Emmarentia Dam, Apr 4.
Music Rose Festival @ Ludwigs Rose Farm, Spiced Coffee Restaurant & Butterfly Garden, Pta North, Mar 21-22.
Music for Toddlers, Smudge Art Centre,Craighall Park, every Fri.
Sundowner Music Concerts, at UJ Kingsway Art Centre, Auckland Park, every Mon.

PARENTING Bright Ideas,wkshps by Nikki Bush for parents & anyone raising kid, Bryanston, Edenvale, Mar-May.

SHOWS Planetarium, shows & lectures, Braamfontein, Thur, Fri & Sat.

STORYTIME Dibuka and Alliance Française story telling by Izindaba, music, theatre, Zulu, French, English, Parkview, every 1st Sat of the mnth.

THEATRE Black Light Theatre of Prague, "Cartoon Theatre" UJ, Auckland Park, Mar 18-22.
SA Ballet Theatre Studios Cinderella, Braamfontein, Mar 20-Apr 5.
Porralicious The Finalsh @ Pieter Toerien Theatre, Montecasino, Mar 4-15 excl Mon & Tue.
“Not the Midnight Mass” Montecasino, Mar 4-15 excl Mon & Tue.
Joburg Promusica Kidz Roald Dahl's "Danny the Champion of the World", Roodepoort, Mar 2-28.
Into the Woods, Jnr by Gecko Productns @ Wits Amphitheatre, Braamfontein, Mar 12-21.
The Rocky Horror Show Barnyard Theatre-Broadacres, Fourways, Mar 3-Apr 12, excl Mon.
High School Musical at Montecasino Teatro, Fourways, Jan 24-Mar 15th, excl Mon & Tues.
Jack and the Beanstalk at the Peoples Theatre, Braamfontein, Mar 9-Apr 25.
The Secret Garden at the National Children's Theatre, Parktown, Mar 9-Apr 25.

TRAINS Friends of the Rail, Steam train trip to Pretoria-Tshwane, Cullinan/ Bela Bela, Pretoria, Mar 29, Apr 26.
See EASTER for Easter train, Apr 13.
WALKS/HIKES Check the calender every weekend for a list of regular walks or hikes in Gauteng.
Walk at the wilds with TJ, a leisurely spring snack-pack stroll, Houghton, Apr 26.
Braamfontein Spruit Sandton Field and Study Centre, Sandton, Apr 26.
The National Zoological Gardens of SA (Pretoria Zoo) 5km Fun Run/Walk, 3rd Sat of mnth.
Delta Park Walks Victory park, every 3rd Sun of month.
The Zoo Trot at JHB Zoo, Apr 19, May 17, June 14.
Alberts Farm Walk in Greymont, 3rd Sun of every month.
Small Mammal Biodiverstiy Assessment, Melville Koppies Central, Mar 21.
Kloofendal Nature Reserve Weekly guided walks & talks, Roodepoort, in Mar & Apr.
Giloolys Farm, Linksfield Ridge & Harveys Park Walk, Giloolys Farm, Mar 29.
Melville Koppies Central Walk, Emmarentia, every Sunday.
Melville Koppies West Walk , Westdene, 1st Saturday of every month.
Sandspruit Walk in Rivonia, every Sunday.
Klipriviersberg Nature Reserve in Mondeor, every 2nd & 4th Sun of the month.

WEEKEND RETREAT One Breath Celebration Kung San people take us on guided journeys, workshops, drum circle, etc. Mar 27-29.

Thanks to the guys at Jozikids for this info - keep up the great site!

If you would like to subscribe to their regular newsletter, go to www.jozikids.co.za and sign up. It's packed with information.

Some Great Gift Ideas

Thanks to Jean of Gift For All Occasions for this award!

Her site has some great gift ideas - a LOT, in fact, not some! Why don't you pay her site a visit at http://giftforalloccasions.com - I'm sure it'll be just the first of many visits.

Viva Kyalami!

It's great to see some major motor sport returning to Kyalami, the traditional home of international motor racing in Johannesburg, South Africa.

This weekend saw the advent of the A1 GP at Kyalami (after the initial years of the S.A. leg of the event taking place in Durban), with some very exciting action! A solid, reliable performance by race winners Switzerland, a very exciting second place for Brazil, with their 17 year-old driver, Felipe Guimaraes, attaining a podium position two weeks before his 18th birthday, and an exciting drive for third place by new-comer Monaco, who also achieved second place in the earlier sprint race. Noteworthy was also a very compelling drive by Lebanon, attaining 6th position. Some great entertainment!

In May this year the SBK World Superbike Championship will take place at Kyalami (15th - 17th May 2009), and there are two more International events planned for Aug/Sept and November. That means a major international event for each quarter in the year - great stuff.

I believe that efforts are being made to get Kyalami back into the Formula 1 calendar. If that's wishful thinking, well, I'm one of those holding thumbs for that wish to come true!

For more news and information about Gauteng motor sport, check out their site at www.go-gp.org

For A1 GP information specifically, with race reports, results and a wealth of information, go to www.a1gp.com - but a warning: on race day that server gets really busy, so gaining access may prove to be very difficult!

Please Click Daily

The third item from the top, in the margin on this site, is a link to the Child Health Site. It is entitled "Please Click Daily". It costs nothing but a few moments of your time - but it makes the world of difference to children globally. By simply clicking on the site and then clicking where they ask you to, donations are made to children who desperately need that help.

Once you're there, along the top row of their site are a few more "click" opportunities that may be close to your heart - the Hunger Site, Breast Cancer, Animal Rescue, Child Literacy and Rain Forests. It takes me only a few moments to click on all of them - and the sites load very fast.

On each of these sites, you can see statistics of the difference your click and those of others are making to the donations made. It can be quite heart-warming to see the achievements - and, at times, alarming to see a drop in donations. Very soon it becomes a part of one's daily internet routine. It's not a sacrifice; it's a great opportunity to make a difference without any discomfort on your part, and soon develops into a daily interest.

Please help these people - at least visit the site to see what it's about.

Oh, For Medical Aid!

I'm still in this post-operative stage where I have this gaping, open wound of about 7 inches high and about 2 inches across that needs cleaning and dressing daily - but I'm at home and going to work daily. However, I was officially discharged from hospital. I have to attend a clinic there every second Tuesday (the only day of the week for clinic). As I don't have medical aid, this is a State hospital, with the distinction of being a Training Hospital.

All very well, but what happens if one needs a doctor in between Clinic days? Well, I found out last week!

I suffered severe cramps during the night, vomiting, etc, so decided I'd better take the day off work (had to anyway - didn't sleep at all and was exhausted) and get to the hospital. When I arrived there in the late morning, the ward doctors were already in surgery and couldn't be seen. I was, however, informed that the surgeons who performed my operation had already moved on and there was a new team on duty. The intern informed me that I had actually been discharged, so I had to go to Casualties and register as an 'out-patient'.

That was midday. I patiently joined queue after queue in the 'procedures', until I eventually got to the section where one waits for a doctor on duty to see one. There were two doctors on duty - and scores of patients.

By 7:30pm that night, there was still a score of people ahead of me and no apparent movement. I realized that it would be 11:00pm or midnight before I got to see a doctor. The sister in charge confirmed that I was probably right. By that time, after not eating or drinking anything all day, my body had settled into silent, aching submission. I gave up and went home.

Medical Aid is expensive - but if you possibly can have it, trust me, it's worth having! (And this is one of the better State hospitals! They even have clean linen on the beds. At many State hospitals, they don't even have that - you have to take your own bedding!)

Not the January I Ordered

What a start to the year. I came home from hospital at the beginning of this week, after an emergency operation.

On 10th January, two days before work started, I had to be rushed to hospital for extreme stomach pains. They operated that same afternoon. For two weeks after that moment all I knew was pain, delirium, the side effects of morphine, vomiting, and confusion. It’s only after I got home, that the picture began to emerge for me and my mind started to come back.

Turned out that I had two hernias, one of which was a “strangulated” hernia, which means it was wrapped around the bowels, grown through the walls, etc. Furthermore, some of the strangulated sections were dead and had developed gangrene. They had to cut out portions and rejoin what was left of my intestines.

Then, within just a few days, the wound turned septic. The staples had to be removed and the wound opened up and left open to clean it out continue to do so every day. It is still open and will remain so until healed. Could take months.

Anyway, I was sent home this week, but I had to find a nurse to come in every day for the foreseeable future – even if it does take months – to clean and dress the wound with sterile products. I can’t describe what that feels like.

Cleaning up a wound that’s been stitched is one thing – but an open one that one can so easily infect – or damage - is scary. It’s about seven inches up the centre of my tummy, and about two inches wide. When one cleans inside it with a saline solution and a swab, you easily move a thumb and forefinger around with space to spare, cleaning all sides and angles to the depth of about a thumb. Then you fill it with sterile gauze and cover it all up. I have to be so careful about everything I do – but it sucks; I wish it could be closed up. Anyway, it won’t be closed anytime soon – I only have to see the clinic once every two weeks, which indicates that they basically want it to heal all the way like this.

I shouldn’t start work until March, but I can’t survive if I don’t. I’m definitely not supposed to ride the bike for the next month – but I have to, to get to work. However, the good part of the bike is that it really is very light; nothing to strain me. I was told to buy a retaining belt for my wound, and sit on the bike very, very carefully – nothing funny!

So …. With that, I’m starting on Monday, for limited hours a day. Haven’t tried the bike yet – it’s done nothing but rain since I got the belt!

Anyway, that’s my sad and painful tale. I hope your year had a better start.

On a very bright note, my neighbour in the flats turns out to be a professional nurse, and she has offered to clean and dress my wound every day,which is a wonderful blessing!

Congratulations To My Niece & Nephew-In-Law

Congratulations, Linda and Carl, on your recent wedding! I couldn't have chosen a better nephew-in-law! I wish you both the greatest of happiness and success. Love you guys.



Of course, to me, Linda, you'll always be this little girl!

Back To Routine

Well, it's back to routine ....and for many, back to school. There's a mad scrambling in the supermarkets of kids of all sizes dashing about the isles, grabbing school necessities before stocks are exhausted. Supermarket staff sweat to replenish shelves in the thong of dashing little figures followed by desperate-looking parents pushing trolleys.

"Are you SURE you need that," comes the plaintive voice from the trolley, "or do you just want it?" Then the bright little face darkens in prospective disappointment as it mulls over the question. Negotiations and compromises follow.

While the parents look unquestionably desperate, those eager little faces reflect the light of hope and excitement they feel at the prospect of a fresh start and the determination of better things for the year ahead. I wish them well ... every single one of them.

Meanwhile, in the adult world, although petrol prices are coming down, the general prices that went up because of previous petrol-price hikes have done nothing to follow suit. Regardless of the decreases in fuel costs, prices dig in their heels and wait for the next fuel increases, when they can yell "UNFAIR" and shoot up even further.

I wish that we could feel the enthusiasm of youthful hopes in fresh beginnings, but for most of us the hangover of the past year tends to send us into the new one holding our heads and wondering when it is all going to stop or get better!

I guess "getting better" doesn't happen by chance. It takes positive action on our parts to improve situations - so here's wishing us all the positive strength to meet the challenges and MAKE our children's new year a better place to be.